Dr. Lakoff’s thesis that women are raised to accept a secondary role in the world, one enforced partly by the speech they are taught, sets off academic arguments to this day.
Her 1973 paper “created a huge fuss,” the linguists Penelope Eckert and Sally McConnell-Ginet wrote in 2012. “Thus was launched the study of language and gender.”
Dr. Lakoff observed that women’s speech was marked by hedging phrases (“like,” “y’know”), which convey that the speaker is uncertain; empty adjectives like “adorable” and “lovely,” which trivialize statements; so-called tag questions at the end of sentences, like “John is here, isn’t he?,” which convey hesitancy; overly polite phrases like “Won’t you please close the door?,” which suggest submissiveness; and a habit of ending declarative statements with a rising tone of voice that saps them of force.
She also observed that women are less likely to tell jokes than men, less likely to use vulgarity, more likely to use hyper-correct grammar and to speak with exaggerated politeness, and more likely to “speak in italics” — that is, stressing words because the speaker fears she is not being listened to.