is a senior reporter and author of the Optimizer newsletter.She has more than 13 years of experience reporting on wearables, health tech, and more. Before coming to The Verge, she worked for Gizmodo and PC Magazine.
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Slipping on the $499 Oakley Meta Vanguard, I feel the power of Patagonia-clad authority figures wash over me. I am no longer a tired tech reviewer in the thick of review season. Oh no, I am every sports dad on the bleachers, yelling at that idiot coach for not calling out what was obviously a foul against my child. I am coach Eric Taylor from Friday Night Lights, rousing a ragtag group of Texan teenagers with an inspiring speech about how if they have clear eyes and full hearts, they can’t lose. I am Poochie the dog from The Simpsons — cool, fun, and inscrutable behind a rad pair of shades.
Pumping my arms, I feel like I’m flying as I round a corner in my neighborhood. I feel invincible until I reach a hand up to press the record button. The music cuts out. In the periphery of my right eye, I notice a white LED light. Panic fills my veins. Wait, can you not listen to the bass drop when recording a video?
You cannot! I am nothing without my running jams. Big Bertha, an annoyingly steep hill on my route, comes into view. I unleash a string of expletives now preserved for posterity in 3K with spiffy image stabilization. Later, when I import and watch the videos, I facepalm.
This is my alter ego, Lady Jabroni. She is contemplating yelling at a soccer player to have unblurred eyes, unempty hearts, and a must-win attitude.
The Vanguard are the Oakley smart glasses that athletes and weekend warriors wanted back when Meta launched the HSTN sunglasses earlier this summer.
They have that bold wraparound look. They have giant polarized lenses in four different colors. The lenses cover half your face. You will either look like a European DJ or an NPC cyborg in Cyberpunk 2077. It’s not for the self-conscious and requires a certain dedication to function, or at least a base level of swag, to pull off. But anyone who spends a lot of time outdoors will love the swappable Prizm lenses. They filter certain colors to emphasize detail and contrast, like bringing out lush greens or emphasizing cracks on the road. The blue lenses I have are a good option for fishing and water sports as they filter blue light and reduce glare on aquatic surfaces.
At 66g, they’re heavier than typical glasses but are typical for Oakley’s other athlete-focused eyewear. The Vanguard’s wraparound frame felt snug during my runs and helped distribute the weight more evenly.
Oakley Meta Vanguard specs Audio: 2 open-ear speakers with a 5-mic array
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