16 Funniest Ted Lasso Quotes: Tea Is 'Garbage Water,' and God Hates Tie Scores

Ted Lasso wasn't hired as AFC Richmond's head coach for his way with words. The bumbling American, played to perfection by Jason Sudeikis, was actually hired for his complete lack of soccer knowledge, though owner Rebecca Welton started to appreciate him after a while. But Lasso is amazingly quotable, spouting his all-American wisdom about everything from soccer's mystifying rules to England's national beverage. As fans rejoice in the news that Apple TV Plus has renewed the show for a fourth season, here are 16 great lines from Ted himself. Ted on soccer Ted ruminating on the Beautiful Game "Ties, and no playoffs. Why do you even do this?" Ted hates ties "If God wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn't have invented numbers." Ted really, really hates ties "Ain't nobody here going to kiss their sister. Which is an American phrase that I'm now realizing does not exist here, and that's good, because it's creepy." Ted can't name many footballers "Well, yeah, you got Ronaldo, an ... Read full article.