How to Write the Worst Possible Python Code Naveed Khan Follow 12 min read · 6 days ago 6 days ago -- 4 Share
Look, we’ve all been there. You’re cruising through a new codebase, feeling pretty good about yourself, and then BAM — you hit a section that makes you wonder if the original author was having some kind of existential crisis. Well, today I’m here to help you become that author.
After years of witnessing Python crimes that would make Guido van Rossum weep into his keyboard, I’ve compiled the definitive guide to writing Python code so magnificently terrible that it becomes a cautionary tale whispered in engineering meetups for decades to come.
Rule #1: Embrace the Art of Cryptic Naming
Don’t use clear, descriptive variable names when you can create beautiful mysteries.
def f(x, y, z=None):
a = x * 2
b = y + a if z else y - a
c = [i for i in range(a) if i % 2]
return sum(c) + b
I mean, look at that beauty! Your future self will absolutely love trying to figure out what f does at 2 AM when the production system is down. And your teammates? They'll get to play the world's most frustrating game of "guess what this variable represents."