Why Brains Need Friends
Ben Rein
Bridge Street (2024)
Have you ever chosen between answering a friend’s phone call and finishing some work? This relatable scenario opens Why Brains Need Friends by neuroscientist Ben Rein. Social connection feels good and there is clear evidence that it lowers risks of dementia, cognitive decline, heart failure, diabetes, depression and stroke. Yet, few people prioritize it in the way they do exercise, sleep and nutrition.
Rein notes that various factors, including political polarization, remote work and online habits, are dividing people. And an accumulation of small decisions, such as choosing self-checkouts over small but real social contact in shops, could lead to increased risks of social isolation in older people.
It’s true that socializing can feel awkward. Some brains want more interaction than others; some encounters are more pleasant than others. Rein recommends recognizing, and meeting, your own social needs — like a ‘social diet’.
The good news is that other people like us more than we think they do, studies have shown. We can underestimate how interested others will be in us and how much a brief chat can lift our mood.
Rein encourages readers to not worry about people’s approval. And to think about what each declined invitation might cost both parties over time. So, when a friend calls, maybe answer? — Kelly-Ann Allen
Slowing the Sun
Nadine Hura
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