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Key Takeaways True confidence in leadership is quiet, embodied and independent of external accolades.
Even top industry advisors suffer from imposter syndrome; confidence work is an ongoing process, not a permanent state.
Confidence is not about the absence of doubt but the resilience and humility to grow and show up despite it.
Many executives think confidence is loud and comes from success. The reality is that true confidence is more subtle. It isn’t something you think your way into. It requires you to look inside, get honest with yourself and be open to constantly growing.
As a certified confidence coach who leverages trauma-informed best practices, I’ve worked with senior advisors to household names like Mark Zuckerberg, Sheryl Sandberg and Reed Hastings. These individuals can move markets and impact billions of humans, but they still struggle with confidence and imposter syndrome, worrying that one day they’ll be “found out.”
Rarely do they reach out wanting to “be more confident.” Still, many of their challenges — influencing at the executive level, navigating complex relationships and speaking up to their boss — are tied to a confidence gap. As we address their challenges and how to be more effective in the workplace, they realize they have many misconceptions about executive confidence. Let’s explore them.
Myth #1: Confidence is loud
To be liked, trusted and truly influence others, it’s not about how much or how loudly you speak. I recall an executive asking me to review the transcript of a senior leadership meeting they were invited to. I pointed out that the most senior person in the meeting only spoke two or three times during the hour-plus meeting, yet completely shifted the direction of the conversation. She was confident and knew when her voice would make the biggest impact.
Leaders often mistake loudness for confidence. They think they simply need to speak up more to be seen as confident. The reality is that the most powerful people are often the quietest in the room. They know when to speak up and what to say.
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