As a unicyclist, I draw a certain amount of attention, and whether it be a busy sunny Saturday morning or 21:00 on a grim Monday night, people are inclined to ask me questions.
I imagine the spectacle and presumed friendliness of someone riding a unicycle contributes to people’s willingness to enquire, and I’ve had some lovely chats with some lovely people spurred by unicycle-oriented lines of inquiry.
Unlike many ‘frequently asked questions’ lists, these are genuinely frequently asked questions. I’m borderline guaranteed to be asked at least one of them at least once per ride.
For better or for worse, one can usually only provide a quick response when zipping past, so here are the complete, unabridged answers to some FAQ s.
Did You Lose The Other Wheel?
People seem to say this and ‘Where’s the other half?’ like some deranged compulsion or forced ritual. One would think that they’d gauge that it is the low-hanging fruit, but either they don’t care, or they don’t notice.
It is perhaps most frequently shouted by tradespeople from across a worksite but can also be heard from anyone, anywhere, at any time, as long as a unicycle is present.
There are a few golden retorts and responses that most unicyclists have in their arsenal to hurl back in the moment, including:
I don’t need a training wheel. If they’re a tad rude, you can switch this to ‘You still use a training wheel?’ as a mild retort.
It had a flat.
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