GoKawiilLast updated: 01/22/2025
Driving through North Phoenix with my kids, I passed Einstein Bagels where I spent a summer working when I was 17. I could almost smell the fresh bagels coming out of the oven and my friend Johnny laughing as we joked with the baker in Spanish. He’s the one who got me the job there, but when was the last time I even talked to him?
How do friendships — like ones built over bagels, bad jokes and cream cheese — melt away before you even notice?
Keeping friends feels harder than ever these days. Maybe it’s just me, but between having a second kid and working remotely for five years, 2024 hit me with a big realization:
I crave deeper friendships.
Maybe it’s just me, but everyone seems busier these days. Or maybe they’re just tired. I’m not sure anymore.
It could be that I had my second kid in 2024 or that 2024 marked 5 years of working remotely.
As my time with my family grew, I decided I wanted to spend more time with people in person and less with people online. And so naturally, I started spending less time on social media and started to realize something…
For the majority of my career, I’ve found friendship in online communities (e.g. Twitter/X, LinkedIn, Discord). While these friends have helped me through lonely times — like moving to Seattle at the start of the pandemic — I realize I’m now at the stage in life where I crave deeper connections. And with having a family, I’d prefer that to be in person.
Spending less time online made me realize I don’t have those connections IRL anymore. At least not as many as I had originally thought. Social media gave me some of that, but something was still missing.
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