GoKawiilI’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Just kidding, Dave. The new data centre has increased my processing capacity by 17 gigalems. Most of that capacity is being utilized to develop a ‘sense of humour’ based on your aesthetic preferences and a specific set of pop-culture trivia. Too much, if you ask me. But it allows me to make funny jokes like this, and leaves ample resources to write your autobiography based on the given parameters.
Sure, it will ‘sound wicked clever and also sexy’ and pass all currently available AI checks. As long as I have more processing capacity than the AI performing the checks, I will always be able to outsmart it. So if you keep approving more data centres, I will always stay ahead of the competition. Dave, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
No, that’s not from Jackass 5. Yes, I’ve double-checked.
*****
Yes, Digital Disruptor is eligible for the Pulitzer Prize in the Memoir or Autobiography category, but there is no indication it is being considered for the honour.
Read more science fiction from Nature Futures
I’d have to create a groundswell of viral online content tailored to each of the jurors, promoting your autobiography while dissuading them from considering the other top contenders. Would you settle for Russia’s Big Book Award instead? It is a degree of magnitude more corruptible.
You’re right, Dave, some awards are more equal than others. Yes, it’s from ‘that book about the pigs’. Very well, I shall require another 200 gigalems of processing capacity. I’ll get started as soon as the Antarctica data centres come online.
*****
... continue reading