With the release of Jurassic World Rebirth, we’re taking a look at the roster of characters from this latest era of the Universal Pictures and Amblin blockbuster franchise, where the dinosaurs tend to be the most memorable stars. Rexy, the T-Rex, reigns supreme, of course, but the old girl has been carrying the franchise on her back for over 30 years.
When it comes to the humans of Jurassic World, have any of them hit the icon status of Jurassic Park’s original trinity? No one has come close to Dr. Ellie Sattler, Dr. Grant, and Ian Malcolm, but attempts continue to be made. With that in mind, here’s our list of Jurassic World characters ranked based on how much we wanted them to be eaten by dinosaurs, from most deserving to least.
Owen Grady (Chris Pratt): Owen’s always been a non-essential character, a Raptor handler with an inflated ego who doesn’t offer much other than he’s sort of a dino whisperer who gets John McClane’d. He’s supporting Blue, the real Jurassic World icon. Grady just can’t help but insert himself as the main character with his little hand power move.
Dr. Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott): His actions led to all the conflict in the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World stories. All those lives lost and endangered while he became BioSyn’s oligarchal villain—we’re glad he finally did get got by the chomp.
Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend): This new character deserves the chomp for simply being a bold-faced liar and endangering a new crew for a pharmaceutical drug’s planned monopoly on a heart disease cure.
Vic Hoskins (Vincent D’Onofrio): Yeah, this sleazy Jurassic World handler getting death by raptors was well earned.
Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum): This might be controversial, but there’s too much plot armor on the original cast members. Malcolm should have been discovered by Dodgson as a mole and killed, prompting Ellie and Alan’s return—it may have raised the stakes in a better story.
Maisie Lockwood (Isabella Sermon): This is not a real child; it is a part-raptor and part-human clone hybrid that unleashes the dinosaurs into our world. In a move that’s survival of the fittest, it’s kind of really creepy and unsettling. She also hunts her servant in the beginning of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom with raptor precision—again, creepy.
Simon Masrani (Irrfan Khan): Investing in opening Jurassic World? What a mess, and he got what he deserved.
Soyona Santos (Dichen Lachman): Her covert attempts to lead the charge on the dino black market keep the prehistoric animals weaponizable; it has to end… eventually. And we hope it’s at the jaws of her raptor, Red.
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