I’m feeling hungry, so I go to my kitchen and turn on the stove. I inadvertently have the handle of the frying pan sitting above the flame and when I go to pick up the pan my entire hand melts off in an instant.
Damnit. I only had two of those and now I’m down to one. That was my dominant hand too.
But you have to just keep moving forward when these things happen. I pull the pan back to the correct position with a tea towel to let the handle cool off and open the fridge to pull out some ingredients. As I turn around I catch a glimpse of the sunrise through the window, and in spite of the burning light I fixate on it for a few moments in awe of its beauty. Unfortunately those few moments were sufficient to partially blind me in both eyes and now everything around me has a kind of washed-out, ghostly appearance to it and there’s less detail. Good thing I didn’t stare any longer or I’d have to develop echolocation to navigate around my house or something.
I pull out my phone and message my friend about these unfortunate occurrences, framing it in a kind of tongue-in-cheek way but there was something about the way I phrased it that rubbed her the wrong way and now she’s saying she never wants to speak to me again and has blocked me. Damn, she’s gone forever.
Perhaps it is time to pick a less risky activity.
I turn on the TV and start flicking through shows I could watch on Netflix. Paralysed by choice I’m struggling to pick a show. By the time I do pick one, I realise my phone has been aggressively vibrating. I check it and realise that ten years have passed since I started looking for a show to watch. Ten years gone for the sake of picking a Netflix show and I wasn’t even that keen on the show that I ended up picking. Many of the notifications on my phone are from my bank informing me of unpaid debts which have compounded over the last decade to be in the millions.
I open my front door to see what the world looks like now after 10 years and a tower of mail, eviction notices, bills, and so on collapse on top of me and crush me.
Now I stand in an infinite black void. I look down and see that I’ve got my right hand back, but I’m evidently dead so it’s not of much use to me anymore.
Hang on I think, did I leave the stove on?
Just as I recognise the absurdity of that thought, a cloaked figure appears before me.
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