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Key Takeaways As leaders, we have two responsibilities: one, understand perception, and two, decide intentionally whether to reinforce or challenge it.
My client’s perception of me made me question whether I had blurred the lines between motherhood and leadership. But I came to realize they aren’t competing identities but harmonious, complementary ones.
When women realize that truth, the assumptions built to shame women begin to lose their power.
“You’re just a mom with a side hustle.”
His words shook me to my core.
Our client was canceling his contract with us. In the discussion and feedback about our work, he shared his perception of me. Not of our results. Not our strategy. Not of my 18 years in business. This was his perception of me — my identity. In one sentence, he reduced everything I had built to a hobby project run between nap times. His perception became a business reality. As leaders, we have two responsibilities: one, understand perception, and two, decide intentionally whether to reinforce or challenge it.
I had been the breadwinner for my family for more than half a decade. We were nine months into scaling our second company, navigating a new agency model. I was also a mom to two boys who were then seven and three. And from the outside, my personal brand featured a lot of mom content, because that is the role I love most. Even though, as a female founder, you’re apparently not supposed to admit that.
Studies show that when women discuss family and personal matters publicly, they are perceived as less business-focused. It’s a reputational consequence men don’t face when they drop the #prouddad posts. Worse, lab experiments published across multiple disciplines find that mothers are consistently evaluated as less competent and less committed than equally qualified women without children. Not because our work is different. But because of the perception of our priorities.
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