GoKawiilA few weeks back, I came across a Harvard study from 2010 on X that made me stop scrolling. Researchers pinged thousands of people randomly throughout their days, asking: “How are you feeling right now?” and “What are you thinking about?”
The result was clear: when your mind wanders, you’re less happy. Even if you’re doing something boring, you’re actually happier focusing on the boring thing than letting your brain drift somewhere else.
The finding immediately took me to the career and guidance conversations I’ve been having with friends and folks from tech over the last few months. This feeling of not being able to mentally commit to a path is all too common here in tech. There’s way too much optionality, and if you’re even a little higher potential than the rest, you’re swimming in the feeling of constantly second-guessing yourself. This leads to a painful life. Let’s understand it better.
This is a serious problem. It has hampered many talented folks from being truly functional even in their current roles or whatever they’re doing at the moment. You’re mentally chasing better, and you’re not giving your 100% to the present. This is true for life and career both. Have a great house? How about an even greater house? Have a nice car? How about the bigger car you could buy if you unlock your career at that high-growth startup compared to the stable company you’re at now?
That study was from 2010. Back then, you couldn’t scroll Instagram Stories during meetings. The word ‘founder’ wasn’t plastered all over LinkedIn by anyone with a MacBook. You actually had to live where your job was. Startups weren’t so prevalent, smartphones were just coming about, and the problem wasn’t as severe as it surely is today.
There’s a much worse atmosphere of comparison now - a mad-max race to get rich early, and the internet is lathered with stories that fuel this mentality. This has led to the proliferation of this problem a lot more than what those researchers probably anticipated.
We’ve since built a world designed to keep your mind wandering constantly about career possibilities.
Walk into any tech office today and you see it everywhere. Someone scrolling LinkedIn, seeing a promotion announcement, then spending twenty minutes mentally spiraling about their career trajectory. An engineer browsing a startup’s engineering blog and suddenly feeling restless about their current company. A designer discovering someone’s career pivot on Twitter and questioning whether they’re maximizing their potential. The rabbit hole that starts with “just checking” salary data and ends with calculating what you could be making elsewhere.
This isn’t career ambition. This is the specific torture of having high potential.
When you’re capable and ambitious, your current job becomes just one choice among infinite possibilities. You’re lucky to have options, but that luck creates a particular type of suffering. You can’t be grateful for a good role because your mind constantly calculates whether it’s the optimal use of your abilities.
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