We were walking to watch the sunset when a dog started barking at us from a porch. From inside, a voice called out: "Don't worry, he won't leave the porch. The electric fence hasn't worked in years, but he still won't go past it."
I stopped mid-step.
A dog, imprisoned by a fence that only exists in his memory.
The next question changed how I see everything: What electric fences do we have in our lives?
The Invisible Barrier
Electric fences train dogs through graduated discomfort, first a warning beep, then a shock. Eventually, the dog learns the boundaries so well that even when the fence stops working, the memory of pain keeps them trapped. Most dogs stay placidly within their invisible prison for life.
But some dogs discover the secret: three seconds of discomfort leads to lasting freedom. Once they realize the fence is just an illusion maintained by memory, they never go back.
The Fences Between Us
Here's what I've realized: Some of our strongest electric fences aren't keeping us from freedom, they're keeping us from each other.
That voice in your head saying "Don't text them, you'll seem needy." The one whispering "They haven't reached out, so they must not care." The fear that being the one who always initiates makes you weak.
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