How I accidentally became PureGym's unofficial Apple Wallet developer
47 seconds: A villain origin story ¶
Wednesday, 11:15 AM. I'm at the PureGym entrance doing the universal gym app dance. Phone out, one bar of signal that immediately gives up because apparently the building is wrapped in aluminum foil. Connect to PureGym WiFi. Wait for it to actually connect. Open the app.
"Warming up..."
The entire feed loads—suggested workouts I'll never do, my "recent" activities from 2024, a motivational quote that makes me question humanity and myself. Oh, and would I like to enable push notifications? No. How about this special offer for personal training? Also no.
Finally, I can tap "Gym access." Loading spinner. The QR code materializes eventually like it's 2000 and I'm downloading a JPEG on dial-up. Someone behind me clears their throat. Scan at the pod, the barrier grunts open.
Total time: 47 seconds.
Before: 47 seconds of app archaeology After: 3 seconds of magic 47 seconds of app archaeology3 seconds of magic
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