GoKawiilIn the summer of 2000, I could never have imagined becoming a father. I was 34, living in New York City, with a good job in social care, but still in a tiny apartment. I had been with my partner, Pete, for just over three years; we were serious, but we didn’t live together. Becoming a parent was not on my radar.
One August evening, I had finished work late and was hurrying to a dinner reservation I had with Pete. I was rushing towards the turnstile at Union Square station when I noticed a bundle of clothes in a corner. I saw it move and stopped in my tracks. I walked over, peeled back a dark sweatshirt, and saw him: a newborn baby, with the umbilical cord still attached.
I was in shock. I sprinted up to the street and found a payphone to call 911. “I found a baby,” I blurted out. I rushed back to the platform and crouched down next to the baby. I stroked his head to comfort him but he pulled a face. “OK, you don’t like that,” I said. We stared at each other. My heart was racing.
It felt like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes before the police arrived. I had to give a statement, and went home for a large drink. Pete and I talked all night; why would the mother have left the baby, why had she chosen to leave him here, in the centre of gay New York?
double quotation mark Kevin is an incredible young man. He works out of state but, fortunately, he is still happy to spend time with his dads
After a short period of media interest, life returned to normal, until 12 weeks later, when I was asked to testify at a court hearing as the mother could not be found. To my surprise, the judge asked if I had any interest in adopting the baby. The idea hadn’t even entered my head, but instantly, I desperately wanted to say yes. I told her I needed to talk to my partner but, in my own mind, I had decided that was what I wanted to do.
Pete was furious. We had never talked about starting a family. We were in debt – there were a hundred reasons why bringing a child into our lives did not seem sensible. But I was convinced.
Pete agreed to visit the baby in foster care with me. As soon as I saw him, I took him in my arms. “Remember me?” I said. Pete says when he held the baby, every morsel of resistance instantly evaporated. We left that house united.
We were called back to court on 20 December, and granted custody. “How would you like him for the holidays?” the judge asked. We bought parenting books and read them cover to cover in 24 hours, and I moved into Pete’s flat.
View image in fullscreen Danny (right) with his husband, Pete, and their son, Kevin, in 2001 …
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