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AI chatbots are hitting the dating scene with advice on breaking the ice and breaking up

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Why This Matters

AI chatbots are increasingly being used in the dating scene to assist with conversation starters, profile building, and interpreting messages, making dating more efficient and less stressful. While they offer valuable support, experts emphasize that genuine chemistry remains an inherently human and unpredictable aspect of romance. This trend highlights the growing integration of AI into personal and social domains, raising questions about authenticity and emotional connection.

Key Takeaways

Chatbots like Grok and Claude are making dating a little less painful. Marie Lansley recently started a new job in a new city while searching for a new partner. In her dating pursuits, the freshly minted San Franciscan said she’s been “trying everything”—including some help from artificial intelligence.AI chatbots have become—for her and many others—de facto dating coaches and relationship experts.Lansley, 36, consults AI chatbots for help in starting conversations, something she said she finds difficult on dating apps despite being comfortable doing so in person. Although she’s optimistic about the possibilities, she acknowledges the incongruency between the art of romance and the precision of technology.“I am open to AI finding me the love of my life, but I’m also not fully convinced that it can,” Lansley said. “AI is great at making dating more efficient. But the chemistry—that’s always going to be analog.”AI adopters have been using the tech in varied ways to find romance. Some patronize AI matchmaking services. Others use AI tools to help build their dating profiles. But the most common way is enlisting chatbots to draft messages to potential matches and interpret messages they receive.Lansley goes back and forth between OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Anthropic’s Claude. Others turn to xAI’s Grok, Google’s Gemini and other chatbots. Dating apps and AI companies are leaning into it. ChatGPT and Gemini have posted content on TikTok showcasing their chatbots’ customized, personality-laden relationship advice.“Claude is the new Cyrano,” said Carey Gaynes, a dating coach, referencing the 19th-century French play Cyrano de Bergerac, in which the titular character is the brains behind another man’s romantic words. “You’re using a voice that isn’t yours.”Gaynes said she has heard of daters of all ages turning to the technology, both from her client base and her following on her YouTube channel, Coffee with Carey. She sees how it could be useful in dating, but like many others, she worries about overreliance.When it comes to people’s feelings about AI’s role in romance, it’s complicated. There’s a range of excitement, resistance and skepticism.