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Key Takeaways Many leaders believe they’re overwhelmed because too many people depend on them. In reality, some have unknowingly built their identity around being the person everyone depends on.
Secure leadership means being humble enough to be replaced, but confident enough to know there’s no one else like you.
Ask yourself, “How am I being complicit in the conditions I say I don’t want?” The best leaders don’t build organizations that depend on them. They build organizations that are stronger because of them.
I’ve worked with founders, executives, entrepreneurs and high performers for years as an executive coach. I’ve also spent over a decade as a therapist. Along the way, I’ve made some interesting observations. There’s one theme I see over and over again.
Sometimes leaders don’t just want the company to need them. They need the company to need them. Because every time someone can’t do it without them, it reinforces that they’re valuable. They aren’t necessarily consciously thinking this, but it shows up in their behavior.
The leadership paradox
The people who complain the most about carrying everything on their shoulders are often the same people making sure everything stays on their shoulders. There tends to be this interesting paradox where people say they want one thing, but their behavior is moving in the opposite direction.
Psychologists call this cognitive dissonance: the tension that shows up when our stated goals and our actual behavior don’t match.
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